> hey what's for dinner mom?: Don't Let Hindsight be 20/20

10.27.2009

Don't Let Hindsight be 20/20

The following was written under the influence of rage and disgust. It has nothing to do with food and a whole lot to do with making broad all encompassing generalized statements. I thought seriously of taking it down but decided against it. While it may offend some readers maybe it will inspire others to become the parents they should be to the very small souls given to them for a short while. At least I hope it makes you go hug your kids.


Apparently there was some horrific gang rape outside a school dance, it lasted for 2 1/2 hours. And other people showed up and joined in. I was on twitter and a "mom" twitterer was waxing on and on about "how youth violence laws need to be tougher" Really?

I don't think it is the answer. These kids have had violence shoved down their throats since they were toddlers. Sexuality too. The average kids in America watch 32 hours of tv a week. A WEEK. That's what like 4 1/2 hours a day? Wow!? They are routinely taken to movies that make me blush. Anyone watch Transformers 2? Violence and sex at every turn. They had a 3/4 nude girl dry humping the star of the movie and then grabbing him by the neck with a tail that wiggled out from her scantily clad backside. She nearly choked while beating him to death. And it goes on and on and on. Unbelievable violence teamed up with some steamy sex kitten shots. Not for kids right?

Guess which fast food chain had kids meal toys for this very adult movie? Burger King! Yes 4 year olds were being marketed to. And parents assuming it would then be a suitable movie for little kids took there kids. Except surprise it's not a kids movie but gee we paid 10 bucks so we're not leaving. Can't waste that money now can we?

And lets look at daycare. Where I'm pretty sure that kids basic needs are met but where are the parents to provide that intimate one on one time that is so essential to kids. Yeah you guessed it out earning the money to take their kids to COMPLETELY inappropriate movies. We are saying to our kids, money is more important than you. Sorry kid I'll squeeze you out but after that you are someone else's problem. Except they don't learn (by and large) whats really right and wrong because mom and dad are too damn busy making money to pay for daycare.

Someone needs to be there with the kids. Period. Sure it's hard but we can all do it, it takes a commitment to living on a budget, not having the best of everything and being ok with a 3 year old cell phone. You will get kids who care. Who stand up for what is right. And when they do something stupid and get caught they don't try to keep getting away with it because they know it's only going to get worse.

So sure it's easy to say we need tough youth violence laws but how about tougher parenting guidelines? You squeeze 'em out, you stay home with them and raise them right. Quit passing the buck, stand up, do whats right even if it hurts and it's hard. Because it's right. And your kids are watching.

Am I way off here? What are your thoughts?

10 comments :

  1. While I totally agree with your point, I think it's unfair in this economy to make a blanket statement about all parents being able to stay home if they are willing to budget a little.

    I'm a stay at home mom myself, and I see the benefits every day in my son.

    However, I have friends who have no choice but to work or they will lose their homes, and so much more.

    That said, I must agree with you about the movies and tv kids get to see all the time. I'm shocked when I see kids at movies they are far to young to see at times when they should have long been in bed.

    It's shocking to me that we show our kids shows like sponge bob, and take them to movies like Transformers, and then expect them not to act out in some way.

    While I do think that those involved in the rape should be severely punished, one does have to ask what parenting skills were used in raising those kids.

    EVERYTHING leads back to the home. There's no way around it. People need to wake up and start doing some real parenting.

    I applaud you for voicing this opinion.

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  2. Thanks Tiffany! I do think it is often a choice parents make to work or not and many people I know pay as much for day care as they get paid so it equals out. I should NOT have made a blanket statement because there really are SOME people who need to work. But I still believe with some fancy budgeting and living w/o "stuff" all families can have one person home with kids.

    And yes the people in the gang rape should be punished but as far as teaching other kids NOT to do that it does start with parents.

    Thanks for your very thoughtful comments! And keep up the good work with your son it is all worth it!

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  3. I agree with you completely! As the parent of a teenage girl,I live with my heart in my throat every day. You wouldn't believe some of the stories she comes home with!

    So many parents these days are too busy "doing their own thing" instead of being there for their kids. I can't tell you how many times I give rides to stranded teens or visit the drive-thru at McDonald's because someone's "Mom" didn't have enough cash for her kid's lunch money.

    You need a license to go fishing but any idiot can raise kids!

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  4. While it is definitely about the parenting, and the lack thereof is a huge issue in the problems kids face these days, trust me that staying at home isn't the answer. Most moms near me stay home with their kids, but ... there are MANY of those who I wouldn't trust with my child, especially not once they're teens. One friend brags about the drinking parties she's going to host for her children when they're in high school. Another lets her kids run wild and buys them anything she can think of to keep them from screaming. And I have some working moms who I would hand my children over to because they GET what's important. It isn't just about whether you work or don't work. It's about the parenting values outside that, too.

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  5. Susan, I know! I have a teenager and his friends are constantly over eating at our house. Or they used to be now they all drive and take themselves to McDonalds. Their parents really don't give a rip about them. So sad. Of course my teen boy is no angel, even I know this.

    Michelle you are right in some ways. The moms who stay home and do it right or work part time(like you) are great. The loser trash people are everywhere and I was making a HUGE generalization in my post mostly to make a point. Take time now so it shows later. Even stay at home parents can be losers, this I know!

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  6. you are so right in many aspects. I am a working mom with a 6 year old in K. He is an only child. But I can't believe what he tells me that the other kids say. I try to protect him from things he should not know now, but then again I have to explain things too. We live on a farm with animals so my son has been exposed to a lot of issues with them.

    I know that in our society today, some kids are left to defend for themselves. There are so many good parents out there that believe in there children and are raising them to respect themselves and respect others and be a good person. While you have children that fall thru the crack. I think that it is a cycle with families. It seems in my area that the same families are always the bad ones. There is sometimes when a child has an opportunity to break free from what has been labeled for them and make something of themselves.

    Most of the time your children will act like you do. So that is why as parents we have to give our children a home that shows love - faith - caring and hope. Some children don even know what those things are and it is so sad for me.

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  7. I feel your outrage!!!

    This horrible crime shows our breakdowns in society. The fact that this happens reveals how messed up this country and the world has become.

    I think there are many contributing factors and parenting is definitely one of them.

    As for the movies and the marketing of this violence to kids, I think it needs to go beyond the parents and to the companies responsible for creating this trash. I don't think they should be allowed to put it out and market it to kids.

    The fact is clear that teens are being desensitized to violence and it is a huge issue for us as a collective society to address.

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  8. I'm not a parent, and not going to be, but I do agree with you, Laura. I see so many people in a hurry to have children ... then dump them into day care, and not always because they can't afford to stay home. I just don't get that, I never have.

    I understand that you've made a broad generalization here, though I agree with the underlying point. Great comments from everyone too.

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  9. Thanks everyone for all your fantastic comments. I love to hear what other people have to say. Helps me think outside the box I'm in.

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  10. "Sorry kid I'll squeeze you out but after that you are someone else's problem"

    So very true and so very sad. I've had some personal issues this past week and it all comes down to this statement. I don't care to elaborate at this time but SERIOUSLY! We want to blame the kids and make them accountable for what they've done but what about the parents? Who's to blame here?

    I'm glad you didn't delete this post Laura.

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Am I talking DIRECTLY to you? Well then let me know!