Before we get into this post I wanted to address my bread without yeast AND my Just Another Meatless Monday recipe. The bread; I fixed it! If you ever forget to add your yeast while the dough is mixing it can be saved! Simply add 1/4 cup of water to a mixing bowl, 2 TBSP sugar and the amount of yeast needed and a 1/4 cup of flour. Then rip up the unraised bread dough and put it in the bowl. Mix by hand or with your stand mixer with bread dough attachment, which is what I did, until it is well incorporated. I can't imagine trying this by hand but lacking a stand mixer I suppose I would try. Once the dough is mixed well place in a greased bowl and let rise. Proceed as planned but just a little later. The feta vegetable egg pie with rice and nut crust is A KEEPER. So good, so different, so real!
On to this subject that has been on my mind for a while now; toxic people. These are people that make you feel less than happy and robust. Of course I am not talking about people who bring real conversation to your life, or make you think outside your parameters or who may disagree with you about a few things. These are people who never have a positive word to say, whatever you say it's wrong or they've done that and you're still wrong, what you see as a valid point is NOT, they incorporate drama into every little thing, they make you feel like less than nothing and you let them.
Recently I spoke with an old friend, like friends for 20 years friend. I haven't seen her since I had my 6 year old. A long time. As we chatted and caught up I listened to her litany of complaints and suspicions about who was doing what to whom, I felt like we were 18 years again, right back when we cruised the strip and created trouble for the sheer pleasure of being wild kids. Except I'm 39. All her woes made my stomach hurt. My head throbbed. I realized that for the last 6 years her and her toxic trouble had not existed in my life. I had for the most part grown up. A LOT. I have a mature man in my life who doesn't play silly school girl games, like "don't talk directly to my man/woman or I'll think you're starting something". And truly for the most part our relationship wasn't all about that stuff, we did have real things we talked about and did. But they were tainted by her zest for drama and my addiction to the excitement her drama caused.
My addiction to her drama. I had a part to play in this too. I am no innocent. But having stepped away from this drama for so long I could look upon it with eyes open. She created the excitement, it made me feel special to be in on her latest shenanigans and it felt good at the time. Mind you I had a young boy in my care and I did not participate as wholeheartedly as I did as a single teen girl, but I thrived on the stories. Like a soap opera, except it was all real.
I quickly hung up the phone and began to process my feelings. I have mulled them over for a long time. I have figured out this about myself, I don't want or need toxic people in my life. I will deal with them when I have to but for the most part if you want to use me, make me look stupid, get me into your stupid drama I'm going to have to step back and think about how much I LIKE MY LIFE. I actually really like it and I am constantly amazed at how many people consciously or unconsciuosly try to suck you in to their toxic lives. I don't think it's malicous, I think it's all they know. They are addicted to themselves. I'm glad I have coffee.
I am so glad I got away from the one truly toxic person I was so close to. I love my drama free life. How about you? Am I just way behind the times in growing up? Did everybody discover this and NOT tell me? Or is this that huge thing you just have to figure out on your own? And worse did you all figure this out at 19 and I am 20 years late? Well whatever the case, I'm glad I finally got it.
Peace and Love-