10.18.2010

Your Conviction is Your Power

There were times in the last 18 months when I wondered if our charter school would ever get off the ground. I had doubt and fear and naysayers in my heart. I often spoke these out loud to the board just to get them out there, I needed to hear we were all scared and feeling that way. They were very good at filling me with peace and sending me back out into the world full of conviction. Each time I came to them with worries and concerns they were able to give me an objective view and either tell me the worries were silly or help me understand what was really the trouble.

My fears and doubt were along these lines, what if we don't get school board approval? What if our charter is not written right? what if we completely mess this up? will my kids like the school? what about my family? friends? what if we tried and failed?

That's a big one what if we failed to build and bring in to existence our Waldorf inspired charter school. What if I looked like a fool for trying and failing. Would I want to stay in this community if we didn't make a go of it. Would I continue homeschooling because public school as we know it, is not an option.

But then I needed to hear from these wise women was what if we don't fail? What if we succeed? I needed to hear those words. In that moment I saw my fears crumbling away and I knew they were right. They meant don't even go there in your head, only focus on the school getting over all the bureaucratic hurdles and getting started because that's where we are going. 


I heard these words last week from a pretty powerful speaker at BlogHer Food, Penny de los Santos. When she felt uncertain she asked her brother "what if I fail?" and he asked her back "but Penny what if you succeed?" And that gave her the freedom to go ahead with her first free lance photography job. She took a chance, jumped in with both feet and never looked, back her photography is amazing, I'm so glad her brother questioned her fear!

Are you fed up with something? Why are you not doing something about it? Don't let fear rule your life. You can do big things, anyone can. When you stop listening to the voices that say no-don't and you start listening to the ones that say yes-do. Then your conviction becomes your power. And failures become stepping stones.

See this picture?




That's an eagle being chased by a raven. The raven is tired of the eagle hanging around and he's off to do something about it. He is literally chasing the raven away and he didn't stop chasing him until the eagle had left the ravens perceived territory. An eagle as you can see is about 4 times the size of a scraggly old raven but that raven, he was convinced that the eagle had to go. And right there, his conviction was his power.

Peace and Love--

5 comments:

  1. Woohoo! Go Laura. Great message and great perspective. Want to come to sunny San Jose and start a charter school with me?

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  2. Beautiful post, Laura!! That conviction is what led me to enroll in school again. And each week when I hate having to do my assignments I center myself and tell myself the same thing - I'm doing this to meet my goals. If I don't fight for them, nobody will!

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  3. Great post, Laura! When I was younger, my life was ruled by fear. As I slid into middle age, I was finally able to let much of it go and embrace the opportunities that were presented to me. The only sad part is that at 25, there were lots more opportunities than there are now.....

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  4. If you try and fail, you're not failing, because you tried.

    Great post.

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