3.25.2011

Not Mom Fail?

Sometimes the best things hurt the worst. They can be torturous while they pan out, but in the end it's for the best. It doesn't always seem like it, especially when you are in the middle of tough love with a teenager. I'm not going to fool myself and proclaim that our tough times are completely behind us BUT this one appears to be a win for the mom.

It had been a few weeks since our last interaction when I got a text from the teen, "can I sleep on my bed in the garage?" that's heartbreaking. But I stuck to my guns and replied "no, but if you're willing to follow some simple rules you're always welcome in our house". Expecting no answer or worse vitriolic spew I went on with my night. A later text read "what are the rules?". I laid them down. No drinking, no legal or illegal drugs so on and so forth. And the deal was struck. Two days later our oldest son was home, warm, safe, employed, graduated and loved. My heart could stop breaking and my brain could stop second guessing.

No one ever said I'd have to turn my back on my son, they just don't tell you that. No one ever said I would worry every night, wondering if he was warm. These are things you get to discover on your own journey, with your own kids. They don't tell you because everyone is different, no two stories are the same. Or maybe they don't tell you because they think we might stop procreating. Sweet genius it is more painful than pushing out a bowling ball, at least there you have finite goal, get this thing out of me.

Peace and Love--

9 comments:

  1. Not looking forward to teenage years. I was no saint and your son sounds like stories I have heard about Audrey's daddy. Makes tantrums on the floor over jelly beans seem trivial. Happy for the reunion.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This post makes me feel better as I can worry about you a tiny bit less than I was. Forging a family is hard work, but I hope that Hero will be able to maintain the ability see how much you & Jack love him. Day by day, this will be a new chapter for your family and you are all in my thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Be thankful for every day that he is home. They make that final flight out of the nest all too soon. I'm so happy for you...little steps...little victories...motherly silent exaltation.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have no teenage son advice, just wanted to chime in and say that I'm happy to hear he's home safe and warm for now. Hopfully the communication will continue. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh, sweetheart, you've done so well in this really difficult situation!

    I know this will not be the last bump in the road, but I'm so glad your baby is home safe.

    (I'm in a weirdly similar place right now, and have chosen to let the lazy, unemployed, high-school dropout stay, but I always wonder if I'm doing her any favors.)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Great to hear! Not a mom fail -- you rock it!

    ReplyDelete
  7. You? = My hero.

    I love that you stuck to your guns, tough or not. That is the best thing you could have ever done for Hero. He will thank you in the future, I'm certain of it. You just saved yourself (and him) from going down a dangerous path - all b/c you dared to trust your mom instincts and do what needed to be done!

    ReplyDelete

Am I talking DIRECTLY to you? Well then let me know!